anonymity is.

anonymity is my sanctuary.
a secret place. the only place one can admit freely the things she cannot feel in front of others.
it used to be beautiful.

but i don't have beauty now. too many people know too many things.
everyone knows something, some know everything. one or two even think they know more than i do.

being so vague is exhausting. the thrill of secrecy is fleeting.

i don't know what i want.

i'm waiting. . .

only a few more days until the girls arrive and the world flips over on its side.
paddy's day is going to be out of control! more out of control than that joke, the south side irish parade. of course, next year, i will give it another chance.
but as for now, i can only look forward to a sea of green on the northside. literally.

music is power.

you take me back there.

back to the sunny days laid out in the grass.
watching her fingers lace through the air, pounding on imaginary keys.
smiling our smitten, love sick smiles at each other.
leaving out details, but recognizing the omissions with sparkling eyes.
"i know true love don't love like anybody else."

the long dirt road to nowhere.
early one summer morning as the three of us crept along each slow curve.
the bass line pounding in my chest.
"the thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth."

i'm back there now
only in dreams.