blue fingertips

life has led me back to the reflecting pool. i think about it constantly. how did this happen? what will become of it? have i convinced myself to feel this way or has it always been?

now i wait for the day and hour when my (near) future unfolds before my eyes. i havent been able to make my dreams understand my desire this time, so instead i keep waiting. and wondering and biting my nails, as the ink seeps into my lower lip.

i like you the best.

tonight i write you because i am just
so downtrodden and don't know where
else to turn. i wish you were here, i think.

i write you because i just want to
write. i hope you like my words.

tomorrow maybe you'll hear from me.
I need you to take care of something
for me. It's important. And damn
entertaining!

tomorrow will bring me closer to you,
in a way. And though friday might find
me further, at least in distance, i will
be retracing your steps.

it's true, california is waiting. it's
waiting for me. and i'll be waiting
for you.

late night with ellie mac

you know, for all that talk about loving to sleep? i sure dont so alot of it. but staying up late is fun, as long as i can get out of bed in the morning.

california waiting

i'm going to california. i'm going to california! whoot whoo!

i cannot even believe i am so excited for this trip out west. and its only for like 4 days, not even, but i am pumped! just me and my mom. a couple of single chicks out on the town! anyone who has some travel advice, things to see while in berkeley, or general knowledge about california to give me, i would be most obliged. oh and also, give me your top five songs about california.

i'm going to california!

concerning dreams

i just came to realize that i havent been dreaming as of late.
i have always been the odd one who has vivid and meaningful dreams every night? what has happened to me?
have i turned into one of them?
ew.

pepper flavored chapstick

what kind of sick situation has god allowed me to fall into? first i believed i had found the one person for me, i convinced myself he could be the one, and before i know it, im the annoying drunk girl calling him to confess my undying affection.

then, i give up. i let go, and decide that my calling is to god. i wanted to be a nun. i was ready for a life of poverty and chastity.

okay now fuck that! last night changed everything. i woke up today happy. Happy. when was the last time that i was totally happy? a while. so now here comes the challenge. the thing i want, the thing i think i really want in my life right now, seems to behind a barricade.

damn the man.

veep debate

what a dick, man. i suppose he had it coming. his parents designed for him a future in which he would respond to the term "dick." in my opinion, his parents were ahead of the game.
on the flip side of the flop, johnny e has some attractive looking parents. ahh, sometimes old people surprise me.