i hate the fact that half of my family lives in ireland. sure, the world is smaller today than it has ever been, but i often feel way farther than just a phone call away.
we are all missing out on so much. i guess i am just disappointed. i'd always thought these would be the years my little sister and i were going to live in the same apartment, have the same friends, and take care of each other. when my brother would be a raging success in a major u.s. city, and we would talk twice a week about girls and school and seeing each other soon.
i feel absolutely worthless with the realization that i can do nothing for the them from here. i feel like i am dining at a table that's missing its legs. and it won't even be repaired for the holidays.
woah. . .did someone say emo?
Monday, October 16, 2006
Friday, October 6, 2006
it's out there.
the moon is so bright on my
pillow tonight
that it's keeping me awake.
either that or the stinging pain
in my temples.
the moon or all of life's big questions
being shouted at me from the depths of my
own head
the brightness of the moon or the terror in
my heart.
have i done something wrong?
have i done something wrong?
pillow tonight
that it's keeping me awake.
either that or the stinging pain
in my temples.
the moon or all of life's big questions
being shouted at me from the depths of my
own head
the brightness of the moon or the terror in
my heart.
have i done something wrong?
have i done something wrong?
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
baby it's too late.
and i am tired.
i spent all night making paper flowers, just wondering how many more nights i have to waste before i matter again.
waking up in the morning is so depressing. luckily, if i sleep all day, night shows up faster and i feel better sooner. i have come to the conclusion that daylight was just not designed with me in mind. thanks alot, god.
"I R stuck in park."
is what my uncle used to say.
i certainly feel that way now.
there are things i want to talk about. opportunities that i want to take. and i can't seem to find the right mountain to stand on so that everyone can hear when i cup my hands over my mouth and just yell.
not to mention. . .it really sucks knowing that i can't call up jimmy john's now (at one in the morning) and bribe them with jello shots and weed to ensure that my sandwich arrives before noon the next day. hypothetically speaking, of course.
i miss my life.
i spent all night making paper flowers, just wondering how many more nights i have to waste before i matter again.
waking up in the morning is so depressing. luckily, if i sleep all day, night shows up faster and i feel better sooner. i have come to the conclusion that daylight was just not designed with me in mind. thanks alot, god.
"I R stuck in park."
is what my uncle used to say.
i certainly feel that way now.
there are things i want to talk about. opportunities that i want to take. and i can't seem to find the right mountain to stand on so that everyone can hear when i cup my hands over my mouth and just yell.
not to mention. . .it really sucks knowing that i can't call up jimmy john's now (at one in the morning) and bribe them with jello shots and weed to ensure that my sandwich arrives before noon the next day. hypothetically speaking, of course.
i miss my life.
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