up all night

i stayed up all day,
a big accomplishment for me
waiting to leap for just a fleeting second.

i stayed up all night
studying the sparks that spewed forth from the flames
drugs, money, sex, magic.

eavesdropping from hundreds of miles away
connected to each other in a single spiral cord
"i miss you" and "you're fantastic" and "i wish i were there beside you."

i peer through the window
anxiously awaiting the suns first rays
upon this massive display of fire and ice.

the emptiness in the pit of my stomach. . .
is it here because you are not?
or maybe i'm just starving to death.

so this is the new year. . .