get your dreams just right.

i used to feel.
i used to feel in light and color and passion and vigor.
i used to feel compassion.
i used to love.

emotion has given way to doubt.
to tension. to the uneasy, sinking, sickly feeling in my stomach.

you ask me to tell you,
"how does that feel?"
i wish i could tell you in terms you understand.
but you and i are different, too different, for you to ever know.
i could tell you about the torrential waves of color splashing against the backs of my eyelids.
i could tell you of the glistening light, the vibrancy of yellow and golden greens i see in the dark.
i could tell you how beautiful i find this moment; perfect in its simplicity.
i could tell you of the release. the sweet, agonizing, reconciling release.

but i let the moment slip away.
i let it all slip away.